I'd like to raise awareness of this disease, because I am certain that my late husband had type II. It's just that it wasn't diagnosed.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?
But looking back with hindsight, it is now very clear to me today that Cliff had even more symptons than I had. The last one being, "every time I eat, I have this bloated uncomfortable feeling" to which I advised, "you need to go to the doctor's".
Oh how I wish I'd known then what I know now ... he'd still be here.
Diabetes, coupled with his high blood pressure. He didn't have a chance.
If he'd been on the DASH diet, he'd still be here.
There are no words for the guilt that I feel.
dearest heart, please don't blame yourself. if, if, if.....we all do it. i blame myself for not knowing proper CPR, for doing it wrong, for not saving my Dragon. and yet, after a certain point, we cannot continue to live like that. we will grow to hate ourselves. your love for Cliff, your telling him to do to the doctor's, you were thinking of him, you were trying to affect a change for him. we never think the the pain we feel, that funny feeling we have niggling in the back of our minds is anything really serious. and yet, sometimes it is.
ReplyDelete"i feel tired." and my Dragon and i turned in. 10 minutes later, he was dying.
please don't blame yourself. but raising awareness, that's a wonderful legacy. you have done more than anyone to help me try to understand my diabetes. you have tried to assist me when my $400 doctor visit left me with more questions than answers.
i never met your Cliff, but in looking at the body language of the two of you in your photos, i'd say he would hear you say those things up there and he would chase you down, grousing all the while in a gruff voice that he would teach you what kind of wife you are.......and he would have you laughing and loving and believing in yourself. he knows all that you did for him. he knows all he means to you. take care of yourself, for him. he's waiting, but he doesn't mind waiting longer. as i understand it, time means nothing where they are. he's waiting for you and loving you all the while.